Acceptance
by ColorsAndVoices
Summary: After a night with Rose, the Doctor has some second thoughts. He finally has what he's been working so hard to find: now, can he accept it?


AN: Well, I've taken my good sweet time to post but here's something at last. I have only this to say: School Sucks! Anyway, now that the momentary rant is over, I hope you like the story. (Which, as it happens is the sequel to _Solution_, a part of the _Bad Wolf Chronicles_, a full list of which can be found on my profile.)

Here's hoping it's good. - AutumnxAngel

Disclaimer: Look, if you recognize it, guess what: It's not mine.

* * *

He lay for hours, staring at the sleeping form beside him. One of his hands rested possessively upon her stomach, tracing idle swirls and patterns across her warm skin. He watched her closed eyes flicker back and forth and wondered what she dreamed of. The night wore on and he continued to think.

Just before morning (or what passed for morning on the Tardis), he began to grow restless. Once she woke to find him there, everything would be different. He wasn't sure how or why, he just felt that it would be.

They had made love. If she woke to find him beside her, it would be a confirmation of sorts. It would add to their relationship some indefinable quality that it had somehow lacked before. This would be more than a temporary infatuation. More than a one night stand.

If the Time Lord stayed, it would be forever. And for him, forever was a very long time.

He looked at her face. She had seen so much, been so hurt. Still, somehow she stayed innocent. Her hair was splayed across her pillow, her own personal halo. He brought a thumb up to caress her cheek. He wanted her to stay that way forever: innocent and ethereal. She should never be weighed down by the burdens he held, never see the things he saw, or know the things he knew. She didn't deserve to suffer his darkness.

His lips tightened as his internal war ended. If he left, they could still go forward, they could still have this chance again. If he stayed, there would be no going back.

He fled.

* * *

The control room was all but silent. The Tardis was drifting calmly through the Vortex, enjoying the waves of Time and Space as they rolled around her. The central rotor was still, allowing the ship to float wherever chance happened to take it. Only the ever-present, quiet hum of the living machine was there to disturb the silence.

The Doctor's footsteps, though quiet, shattered said silence as he entered the control room. He went to the console, wandering aimlessly around it, trailing his hands over random items, feeling the Tardis' pleasure in his mind. It didn't do much to soothe his whirring thoughts.

Guilt washed over him for leaving Rose. He knew that she would be hurt, to wake and find only cold sheets beside her. He gritted his teeth. It would hurt a lot less for this than if he'd stayed. If he'd stayed, she would be bound to get hurt some time. It was almost inevitable with him. He growled unhappily at the tight feeling in his throat.

This was right. It had to be.

"But it's not. Is it?" Her voice was in his mind and his ears. The Bad Wolf stood behind him where he had stopped to lean against the console. "It's not right and you know it."

He turned to look at her and she took a step forward, tipping her head in a way that made her seem distinctly predatory. Her golden eyes were narrowed in annoyance. He opened his mouth to defend himself but she interrupted. "_Last night_ was right. How could something that felt so right _ever_ be wrong?" He could hear the growling undertone of her words in his mind. She took another step forward, backing him into the console. Her hands were on his bare chest, one over each of his hearts, and he wasn't sure how they had gotten there.

"I can't hurt her that way." He was still being stubborn, shaking his head. "We had our night. That's it. If we take any more, the universe is gonna take back. And I don't want that to happen." He met her golden eyes with his brown ones, matching her.

This time the growl was audible and he couldn't help but break eye contact to watch her lips part with the sound. She pushed him back. Hard. And he felt his back thump against a cold metal wall where there had been the Tardis console moments ago. He decided that being moved around without actually going anywhere was just a bit disconcerting. "Go back to her." Her voice was stern, both in his head and in his ears.

He closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. The cold of the wall was uncomfortable on his bare skin. He could feel her sorting through his thoughts and he let her. He felt a brief pause as something distracted her, then her focus snapped back to rifling through his mind. She wasn't being kind about it and he winced as she pushed harder than was strictly necessary. He felt the echo of her satisfaction and understood that she was angry. More than he felt she should be.

She glared at his closed eyes as she felt around in his thoughts, looking for some decent reason for his absence from Rose's side this morning. She wondered how he felt about breaking his promise to explore a relationship with the girl, woman really, and frowned at his response. The thought that last night had been the farthest they could take a relationship and that he had fulfilled that promise appeared behind her eyes. She understood that he was trying to convince himself that he had done all he could and now he was free to cut and run. She let her disappointment wash through him.

Pulling away from his thoughts, she flexed her hands over his hearts. He opened his eyes and all traces of anger and defensiveness were gone. He was sad and guilty and so deeply in love that it hurt. She sighed, letting go of her own anger, and brought a hand up to cup his face.

"She gave a lot to be here." Her voice was soft now, explaining something rather than accusing as it had been before. "She felt how excited you were when we found a solution; she thought you were finally ready. She let me in her head just so she could be closer to you." His eyes closed again and she waited for him to open them before going on. "You know what it feels like to have me that close. Imagine what it feels like for a human." Her eyes were almost begging him to see reason. "It doesn't hurt her now. But it did. The first time I was in her mind, it felt like fire. She felt like her mind was on fire and nothing would ever stop the burning. She did it anyway. Accepted it anyway. Because it got her closer to you, and that was all that mattered."

He took in a shuddering breath and released it slowly, leaning his head back against the wall. "What if I break her? What if something happens? How could I ever leave that to chance?" His voice was quiet.

"She doesn't care. I've been in her mind much farther than you. If she's not too angry to let you, go into her mind. You'll see." Her hand on his face forced him to look back at her. "She doesn't care if she breaks. She's actually _hoping_ to fall. Because she knows you'll be there to catch her." The golden eyes were bright now, insistent.

"But what if I don't?" He demanded. "What if I can't catch her?"

She smiled, friendly now, all trace of predator gone. "My foolish Time Lord. That's why you have me. To make sure you _do_ catch her." She felt him accepting her words. "And to catch you. On occasions just like this."

The wall behind him was gone, replaced by nothing but empty air. He almost stumbled, but didn't. "I've caught you, and I'm telling you to go back to her. Right now. Before I have to drag you back there." Her hands were gone from his body and she was standing a foot away. He almost shivered as cool air filled the place where she had been.

"You _will_ catch her. You already have. Far more than you seem to realize." She smiled at him and was gone.

He stood for a moment, head bowed, studying his bare feet. Finally, a smile bent the corner of his mouth. He made his way back to the bedroom Bad Wolf had made for them the night previous. To Rose in his bed.

He had a promise to keep.

* * *

She woke to an empty space beside her. The only thing pressed to her back was the cold of the empty sheets. The Doctor had left.

She sighed and forced back the choking sensation in the back of her throat. It occurred to her that she had let herself hope just a little bit too much. He had been so determined to make it work, so ecstatic when the Bad Wolf offered her solution. She had been positive that he was ready to be with her. To let her into his life and know that she was there for her entire forever.

She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow they had shared, wrapping her arms around it. She could smell him there, both sweet and spicy, that elusive combination of smells that clung to his skin perpetually, making a scent that she was sure belonged to him alone. She breathed in deeply, over and over, wondering at the mingling of his scent and hers on the pillow. She wished she could inhale the intoxicating fragrance straight from his skin, rather than second hand.

Her eyes clenched shut and she refused to let herself cry. At least he wouldn't be able to just dump her at home and move on. That promise was one she would never let him break.

She drew in a shuddering breath, calming herself, and hoped they would still have friendship. She wondered if she could handle losing him again and doubted it. It had almost killed her last time, it surely would if it happened again.

Emotion surged down the slight connection that remained from the night before. She hadn't even noticed it was still there until his anger burst into her head. Her eyes snapped open and she pushed herself up onto her elbows, staring blankly at the intricate headboard before her, focusing on the link in her mind.

Her focus caught the Bad Wolf's attention and she felt golden light come up to block the connection. _This is not for you._ The voice was distracted and faint. She could almost catch the words from some other conversation, but they were too hazy and eluded her. _Wait._ The link was blocked entirely.

She sighed, a little in frustration and a little in sadness. He was angry, and if the Bad Wolf didn't want her to know, it was probably aimed at her. She wished she hadn't been cut off. She wondered about the conversation she had almost heard.

A few minutes passed, and she gave up. She breathed deeply and rolled onto her back again, staring up at the ceiling. The stars that had been there last night were gone now, replaced by plain white paint. She closed her eyes and thought about getting up. She wondered if he would ever let her back into his bed once she was gone and chose to remain a little longer, savoring the lazy comfort and softness around her and enjoying his scent some more.

She wasn't sure how long she had been laying there, eyes closed, mind awash in the smell of his bed, when she somehow felt his approach. Her mind immediately focused, though her eyes remained closed.

She could hear him standing in the doorway. Some part of her, she assumed the part the Bad Wolf had touched, could feel him breathing in and out. She could taste some wildly powerful emotion swirling through his mind, leaking into the atmosphere around him. It didn't feel like anger and she was a little relieved.

Tension swirled through the air as he watched her in his bed. He sent silent thanks to the Bad Wolf for using _his_ bed in their shared room, rather than an unfamiliar one. He liked that thought: her, in his bed. The Bad Wolf had not blocked his part of the connection, and now that his own emotions were under control, he could feel Rose's apprehension.

He broke suddenly and came for her, crossing the room so swiftly that she wasn't sure his feet touched the ground. She saw the fierce playfulness in his face a second before it was too late.

He crashed into her full speed, arms wrapping around her protectively as his momentum tumbled them over. She felt his powerful arms slide beneath her, lifting her over his chest as he flipped onto the bed. His speed carried them over and she felt the bounce of the mattress as her back collided with the sheets once more. For all the force of his movement, she was entirely unhurt, feeling only the safe circle of his arms around her body.

Grinning wildly, his eyes on fire, he loomed above her. That glittering moment in Time froze into her mind, something she would remember forever. He'd come back. He'd acknowledged _them_.

She felt his lean body pressing her firmly against the bed, from the point where one of his legs had curled around her own, up to their stomachs and slightly higher to her breastbone where the warmth of his skin separated from hers. The cloth of his pants was cool on her legs and the bare skin of his stomach was warm against hers. His arms were soft against her back, an almost fiery contrast to the cold sheets he had flipped her onto. She decided that his skin felt just as good pressed against her own when he was warm and familiar as when he was cool and alien.

Her hands had come up to his chest in surprise when he collided with her and now she could feel the powerful muscles hidden just below the smooth skin of his breast. His hearts beat out his life beneath her fingers, their perfect rhythm somewhat rapid in his excitement.

She saw with total clarity the look on his face, such utter joy that there were not words strong enough to describe it. Acceptance and love etched over his features.

His face was mere inches from her own and she could see its every detail. His dark hair was as rouge as usual, some of it hanging over his forehead to shadow his eyes. His nose was a smooth line down the center of his face, perhaps a little large, but perfect on him. Her eyes made a rapid trail over his soft yet apparent cheekbones and down to his delicate lips. Said lips were parted slightly in an expression somewhere between awe and a grin, allowing his warm breath, which smelled somewhat oddly of honey, to ghost over her face.

The scent of his breath mingled with the dizzying scent that always clung to him, magnified to a hundred times greater than what she had inhaled from his pillow. He smelled of stars and strength and eternity, intoxicating her.

She only had half of a moment to take in his face, however, before his eyes consumed her attention entirely. They were a deeply burnished golden color instead of their usual dark brown, a testament to his happiness. Somewhere in her mind, where she wasn't drowning in his gaze, where her senses weren't being overwhelmed by him, she registered a powerful desire to see his eyes this color more often.

All in less than a second, her senses took in these things. His overpowering presence blew through her mind. The love and ecstasy in his gaze burnt the shadows from her thoughts.

She was his. He had taken her. Completely. Nothing she did would ever wash his mark from her body, her heart, her mind. She could feel the place he had marked her the night before tingling with energy, unnoticed until just then.

He had touched her soul and it was permanent.

And somehow, despite her fears not a minute before, she knew the bond went both ways.

He was hers. He needed her. It was worse than an addiction. He could never get over her. Ever. It had gone too deep, was made too strong. Maybe it was the Bad Wolf's fault. Maybe it was Time's. It didn't matter. It had happened.

The realization terrified her. That she, a young, human, girl from Earth, could have this power over him was almost beyond her comprehension.

The realization didn't scare her half as much as it did him. He was a Time Lord, the last of a dead race, with enough burdens to bring down a world. He was power. The Oncoming Storm. Destroyer of Worlds. And he knew that her existence controlled his own.

If she fell, so would he. There was no choice. He wasn't sure there ever had been.

Still, he had discovered acceptance. If he couldn't have her for forever, he would at least have her for right now.

He couldn't break her heart. Not again. After the Bad Wolf's warning, he understood just how foolish his absence had been. He refused to hurt her that way anymore. It would be worse than tearing his own hearts from his chest.

So he kissed her.

Precisely one eternal moment after his body had settled over her, the Doctor pressed his lips to hers.

His mouth was against her own and they breathed the same air. (He loved having a respiratory bypass system.) She breathed out, and he breathed her in. When she needed air once more, he returned it to her, clean and new and tasting of him.

The part of her head that was guarded by the Bad Wolf shifted, flashing open, and his mind poured into hers.

She saw Time in his mind. She saw the birth of stars, the creation of planets, the rise of people, the growth of every individual he had ever and would ever come in contact with. She saw all of them die. Time marched on. Everything returns to dust in the end.

His pain was there. The knowledge and sorrows of nine centuries and more. She knew that were she exposed to his full agony, it would destroy her. That day, however, at that minute, at that second, she was safe, protected not only by the Bad Wolf's promise, but also by his joy. Such joy as to make the heart burst with it.

His warm mouth was a little rough and a little soft, fitting perfectly to hers. She was glad he gave her breath, deciding that she would probably not be breathing at all otherwise. When he broke away, she found she was right, the ability to inhale independently having been overwhelmed along with her senses.

His grin was like sunlight. Its brilliant light warmed her, comforted her.

"You need to breathe my Rose." He whispered the reminder, with his mouth so close that she felt his words on her skin. His right arm freed itself so that he could trace her jaw-line with his thumb. She inhaled, taking in his scent with the air, interested more in that wonderfully unique smell than she was in the oxygen that sustained her life. She doubted the oxygen was as important to her survival as he was.

He chuckled and rubbed his nose along her jaw, making her gasp. Her response only encouraged him and the hand cupping her face slid back to twine in her hair, tipping her head to give him better access to her throat. After several minutes of careful exploration in which she simply lay in his arms and let his mouth wander the length of her neck and across her face, reciprocating only when his mouth drifted too near hers, she ran her hands up from his chest to tangle in the soft hair at the nape of his neck. After making several cutely endearing whining sounds in protest, he allowed her to bring his face back in front of hers.

Her gaze prompted him back to seriousness, though it was a lazy solemnity that left the comfortable mood intact.

"Are we okay then? Are _you_ okay?" She tried and failed to resist the temptation to rub her thumbs back and forth behind his ears.

He made the humming sound she loved so much and smiled gently, absolute sincerity glittering in his gaze. "Rose Tyler, _my_ Rose Tyler, I'm not sure I have ever been more okay in my entire life. And I've had a long one of those, me."

"Good." She giggled as his gaze began to flicker with the dark golden flame she now recognized as desire, gladly surrendering to his want. She could feel the universe hum around them as his mouth danced over hers once more.

He didn't need to tell her that they wouldn't be leaving that particular room for some time.

* * *

AN: Well, since I still haven't been getting much feedback, I am now officially begging for reviews. Really, anything will do. I just want to know how I'm doing, 'cause I won't be able to improve otherwise.

Any readers who review get undying gratitude and yummy cookies. (yes, I have also resorted to bribery, but, hey, who can blame me.)


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